Papa's got a brand new hat (cos the catalog mon's bin)

I think it's something to do with my poor working class upbringing that makes it something of a blessed event when the catalog mon's bin.

You know, a nice new pair of shoes or in my case a new hat.

I left a load of hats from my collection behind at the old place because they were riffy and I didn't want to clutter the new place up any more than necessary (Daleks, bits of old computers etc).

So, I was down to two hats, my England baseball hat and my treasured Bentley motors hat, which came from the factory after many months of whining and pleading.

I left the England hat at the welder's house the other week, so God knows when I shall get that back.

I saw this on special in the Very book (well online) and had it with a pair of shorts, both for when I am out on my walks.

Fire station close to me, had its annual open day on Saturday. Started badly when from 9:30 they belted out really shitty music full blast on their PA, you know the sort of stuff, X Factor runner up rubbish and X Factor winner rubbish for good measure.

It wasn't supposed to start til 11 and by then, the chavs had bused in from surounding areas to witness such events as best use of petrol to burn out a Peugeot 109, sofa fires for pleasure and profit all rounded off with a "chip pan demonstration" and that last one was real.

Imagine the assembled masses, some from as far away as Sedgley bonk, awestruck at a blazing chip pan and the skill shown in quickly putting it out. WMFS hailed the chip pan demo a success and the demo recived a glowing write up in the Express & Star.

The Americans have Smokey the Bear (who was 68 on Thursday by the way), we have some growler in yellow leggings pointing at a chip pan saying "chip pons can kill".

The combination of brain numbingly bad music and smell of burning sofas had me closing all my windows in protest. This would have been followed by a dirty protest had I been able to throw it far enough.

Spoke to Darlo Sue later in the afternoon who was crestfallen to have missed such an event as she quite liked the idea of sliding down a fireman's pole.

Someone tweeted me saying I should come on down, as the burgers was bostin. 

It would take more than the temptation of a Farmfoods quarterpounder to get me mixing with the great unwashed chaverati of our borough.

So in acknowledgement of the fact with their prolific breeding prowess they are taking over, copying some witless rap twat I saw on the Olympic closing ceremony, I turn my hat round and assume the position.

I'm not fluent in the patois of the breed, except for they use the word innit at least once in each sentence innit ?

Mentioning the Olymic closing bash, that was a bit of a hotch potch innit ?

After several minutes of dullness, we then had kids singing John Lennon's Imagine, joined by a film of John Lennon face only singing it too - sent shivers down the spine.

Later they did something similar with Freddie Mercury unfortunately spoiled by screeching hag Jessie J joining in. 

One thing that stood out like a bulldog's bollocks, was all this talent show performing dross was greatly outshined by the deceased.

Closing brilliance came from the surviving members of the Who - Daltry belting it out as strong as he ever did in the sixties, what a god he is.

The twitter feed was smoking, even one of OBC's Coffin Dodger pals, Trevor who likes rabbits fawning over Daltry and his stunning performance.

I was also most impressed by old poodle head Brian May belting it out nd I must admit I rather liked his coat.

The concert wasn't up to the standard of Danny Boyle's opening show, but it was pretty memorable, especially the fireworks at the close and of course Roger Daltry and Eric Idle.

Do you know Ann Elk's theory on brontoauruses ? if  you aren't sure here it is once more:

Most brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle and thin at the other end.

Knowing that's made ya day innit ?

 

 

Comments

[Average Jane]

I like the sporty new hat!