The Sturdy Soapbox

Chalk and cheese

As I lay there at about 5:30 this morning, I thought do I really need to go out this morning.

The answer of course was yes, even though I was dreading it after yesterday's experience with the unwashed of our town in Tesco.

I needed amongst other things toilet paper and if my Christmas day is going to be complete, ice cream and some sort of stock for my gravy.

I've drawn a blank on fresh stock this year apart from chicken for Chinese food later in the holiday.

I was in Tesco at about a quarter to seven and was surprised to find it just like any other Saturday at that time, blissfully quiet.

I reckon the chavs stocked up on pot noodle and Malibu yesterday, got pissed up last night and were all still in bed.

So first, I have to tell you about the ice cream.

I'd only planned to buy one tub, because you know what I'm like where ice cream is concerned.  The choice wasn't that good, then I spotted this Tesco own brand which was on offer at two tubs for a fiver.

You don't see coffee ice cream that often, so I plumbed for this and a tub of vanilla as a second choice even though I am not that mad about vanilla.

That's there the surprise comes in.  The coffee is nice, the vanilla is mindblowing !

I reckon because it is made with real vanilla, there are bits of seed in the ice cream.  Also the ingredients are all thinkgs I can recognise, like cream, egg etc.  That won't last long, I can tell you.

Can you see those bits of vanilla ?

Apart from a couple of bottles of pop from the shop on the estate, I am done now. Just waiting on a visit from Bob the Butcher tonight for my meat and I will be set up for the holiday.  I have my fresh limes and my bottle of dry vermouth, which I pour over ice and top up with Pepsi Max making an alcoholic but very refreshing drink which oddly I only drink at Christmas, but I do love the stuff.

I didn't get any profiteroles, but that's no big deal, I have all that ice cream and I shall make jelly later. Very nice !

Something else that is nice, considering all the hassle I had off them, is the water company have refunded me £ 28 overpayment from when I moved from the old flat.  A nice windfall for Christmas and a surprise considering they had debt collecting gypos ringing me repeatedly the other week after an unpaid bill from that address.

Just about to slurp my third cappuccino, so there !  Don't like it, sue me !!!

 

Santas who came to visit

Had 2 visitors this mornng, one who brought pressies and one who just came to collect curry and samosas and is a fat little oinker !

I've not seen Growler for months, n fact I'd given up on him as he never responds to texts and the likes.

Then of course we have the welder

A fine pair of Santas if ever there was...

A death in Tesco (almost)

7am in Tesco and I could see the chavs were up early spending all their benefit money, filling their trollies with alcohol and processed shit like turkey and cranberry Pot Noodle.

I was walking towards the potatoes to get some baby news when this fat unwashed bitch obviously had something on the same display in her sights. Like a greyhound after a rabbit off she went veering in at an angle adjacent to mine and knocking me against the shelf in her zeal.

Got what she wanted (there were hundreds on the shelf), not a word of an apology of acknowledgement of the four letter word I called her (rhymes with a flat bottom boat and it wasn't gondola).

I was out of Tesco in less than ten minutes for fear I set about one of these ill mannered scruffy retards.  They're bad enough the other 11 months of the year, but Christmas makes them even worse (and they get up earlier), you don't usually see that sort before 9am in the supermarket.

I got the one important thing needed this holiday. Cans of Bank's Mild for Bob the Butcher. 

I always look after Bob the Butcher, because he always keeps me the cuts of meat he recommends and he's bringing my meat order tomorrow night. 

I always include him when I make curry (which I will be doing next week), but at Christmas I always get him some beer to help him recover from the retail madness which ensues even in a small butchers shop.

He works ridiculous hours on the lead up to Christmas and by 5 o clock Christmas eve, is a nervous wreck.  I think this year he's escaping to his brother's in Cornwall for a few days away from it all.

For me, it's housework today and I'm making a sausage and onion plait tomorrow (not done one for years).

 

How can a Dalek stoop so low ?

OK, so the Beckhams (and every other celebrity) have their own fragrance, Paul Newman had salad dressing and now the Daleks have fruit jellies.

You know me and Daleks (idiot bought two packs, fortunately reduced).

This is what you get inside.

And pretty shit they taste too !

This is the second product with Daleks on I've bought which is put out by Bon Bon Buddies.  They must pay a fortune for the licence to use the Dalek and Dr Who images on their products (which I suppose guarantees sales), but the products are SHIT !

Boo Hoo Bon Bon Buddies, perhaps you should change your merchandising licence to X Factor, more in fitting with the products inside the box.

Totally oinked !

I've been organising my days of late with military precision.

This morning I was out before eight, Marks and Spencers, Poundland and Tesco then home.  A short rest before setting off to Caldmore to the samosa shop, then a walk across town where I had a few minutes before my bus was due, so I popped in to St. Matthews Hall for a quick pint.

My phone rang just after twelve and OBC enquired what time was my bus which was 12:20 and then I had about a 15 minute walk to get to the factory.

"I'd best come get you, they've started early and there' be none left".

So I met him down by the arboretum and when we got to his factory, indeed they were tucking in to a veritable Indian feast.

There were two types of meat curry, one a balti style and not sure of the other.  A chicken curry, a vegetable curry, rice, naans, chicken pakoras and the star in my book, a magnificent saag aloo (spinach and potato).

I have to be honest and say not one of the curries was anything less than excellent.

Here's OBC's oink tray.

Even though these trays look pretty empty (which they were), there was if you paddled around with your spoon, leftovers and some of us put it into the foil trays provided.  Then OBC said "Why don't you take some for the welder".

So the little oinker not only gets a bag of freshly made samosas I traipsed up to Caldmore this morning to fetch, but the very rare occurrence of leftover curry from one of OBC's canteen do's.

Welder's luck I call it.

I had a really nice time over there, as not only do I know several of the people there (Wiggy, Ron the Builder), but they are a friendly bunch and dry humoured too.

Just going to be a slob for the rest of the day because I'm in a lot of discomfort with my neck and spine.  Had a lie down for an hour when I got back, take the pressure off it.

Asda first thing in the morning, get a few things with the gift card Wireless Tone gave me, then once I am home that's it.  No way am I going anywhere near that madhouse of a town.

 

 

Go Gladys

How many famous people were ravaged by Glady's famous purse ?

 

Out and back by eight

Was out early, posting the last batch of socks sold on E Bay down at the main postage where you can get bigger packages in the slot.  Trying to post a Jiffy bag in the town the other day, made me realise what a toughie it must be, being a gynarcologist !

Then to Tesco where I experienced a pang of deep joy when I saw my favourite Radox bath soak was half price and I am right out.  I need to soak my aching old carcass today or die (well maybe not die, but I ache a bit).

I'd no bread in the house as I discovered last night when I came to make a bacon sandwich so ended just having bacon !

As I was gleefully mooning over the choice of half price Radox, the phone rang and it was OBC who also seems to have shit the bed as he was already out roaming the range on a mission to get game pie to take to today's peasant shoot.

He has a surprise in store which I hope to be able to post evidence of here before the end of the week.  All I can cay is think more Chuck Norris than Noel Coward !

Sitting at home last night, no trousers on, Wireless Tone phoned (it was after 9) and said he would be right round.  So I had to make myself decent and make  a coffee for him.

Gave me a nice unexpected pressie of an Asda gift card, very much appreciated and so, an extra trip up to Asda is in the offing, possibly tomorrow seeing how I ate the welder's samosas last night and I can pass Asda on the trip to replace them.  

Hopefully a hot bath and taking it a bit easier today I can get myself in fine form for that hill up into Caldmore...

Welder's getting excited

Five sleeps til Santa the welder squealed to Pat with excitement.

Here's his tree complete with fairy on top.  

There are pressies a hangin (at my place) 

I even popped into the samosa shop after my physio session this morning, but as he's decided not to come over til Thursday, I have just scoffed his samosas and bhajias.

OBC is much keener, he came by for his about an hour ago.

Been a long day and I ache all over.  I'll be glad to go off to bed tonight. If I'd not been expecting OBC earlier, I would have gone for a kip this afternoon.

Fortunately, I don't have any appointments tomorrow, so I have a relatively easy day.  Got to hit Tesco before the chavs start piling in.  

Been invited over to OBC's factory on Thursday when they break up, to the finishing party in the works canteen featuring a vat of curry.  Told the welder who wants me to take a bowl and fill it for him, little oinker.

Before I got over to OBC's, I shall make a visit to the samosa shop part of my morning walk so the oinker won't go hungry. We couldn't have that !

 

Out early and so were a lot of other people

I don't get stressed out over Christmas any more.  I remember when I would boil bones to make stock and then consider the bloody mess I was left with in the pan after I had made this pint or so of jellified stuff for gravy for one day of the year.

I do like to use real stock, but getting it has been a chore.  Last week Asda hadn't got any, but I decided to try again this morning, especially as they have my favourite Alta Rica coffee a pound a jar cheaper than Tesco, it's worth the walk to the other side of town.

Also had a load of sold socks to post out, which I did on my round trip and I needed to pop to Poundland, so because timing is everything with my shopping trips (you know how I hate rubbing shoulders with chavs), I was in town at 7:30, but the ducks won't be getting any Warburtons today.

Not sure about tomorrow, as I have quite a round trip as well.  Surgery to get pills for Christmas, pharmacy to ge tthe prescription filled, physio at 9:30 and then a visit to the hallowed samosa shop (where if he is good, I will get some for OBC too).  Then provided Amy doesn't work my spine like she did last time, down to Lidl for some salmon (their frozen is excellent).

I tried their hot smoked last week and wasn't at all impressed and for some reason hot smoked seems out of favour with the other supermarkets.

I'm leaving really nice stuff like custard and the likes to the last day or so before the holiday, so I won't get tempted and eat it.  That's why I don't buy the stuff, because if it's in the house it will get eaten.  Might even get some rice pudding, now there's a time trip back to my scouse upbringing in the sixties.  Both my nin and uncle Len did excellent rice pudding made with Jersey milk, on a Sunday, always made, never tinned and it would have  brown skin baked on the top.

Uncle Len did the most amazing roasties too !

Need to get some beer for Bob the Butcher in the week too.  I would have done this last week but for Vodafone taking money they aren't due (bastards).

Always make sure Bob's happy at Christmas, because he looks after me the rest of the year.  I had to make sure he didn't misinterpret my list where I put fillet for three people.  I am using fillet steak to slice thinly for beef in oyster sauce, but knowing him I would end up with three fillets to feed three people and a bill to match !

Just ground up my first batch of Rocket Fuel beans Steve Mays sent me from Jefferson CIty.  May spend the morning in the kitchen now, the smell is so amazing.

My weekend was ruined by a message from Helen to say her PC is blusecreening again.  I really hoped I'd seen the back of that machine.  I stronly suspect it's a driver conflict with something she is using on the machine, such as an i pod or even her printer, because it was running perfectly for two days when I was working on it.

Hopefully she'll live with it til after the holiday.

Time for toast and cappuccino I think...

Frosty Sunday morning

I haven't reported yet on how the cornflakes went down with the ducks.  Mainly because I was too upset to talk about it til now.

I took two bags with me, one for the clan who live at this end of the lake and then some for the smaller group who live up by "swallows and amazons island" as I call it.

Audience for bag one four geese, two ducks.  Audience for bag two, two ducks.

I don't know if it was to do with the fact it had only just got light, but it did make me reconsider my philanthropic gestures towards the quacking classes, I can tell you.

This morning of course, as it was so cold, I relented and took what was left of yesterday's Warbutons and two slices from Friday with me.  Ducks everywhere, geese making a huge fuss and then we were joined by pigeons and seagulls.

I favoured the ducks and geese over the others, as OBC's dislike of seagulls rings in my ears every time I see one.

Not many people in the arboretum this morning.  I go a little later on a Sunday because Tesco doesn't open til ten.  Went via treasure island which is when OBC rang and I had to explain what treasure island is.

Glad I'm back in the warm though, despite it being a nice morning walk. Roast lamb for lunch, oink !