The Sturdy Soapbox

Thanksgiving for some

Happy Thanksgiving you American fellows !

Frost warning

Had to bring the babbies in off the balcony last night as we had a sudden drop in temperature from around 10 degs C to about three, then zero sometime in the night.

I fetched the babbies in because they are susceptible to frost.  May have to keep them inside now.

There was a dead duck floating on the lake at the arboretum this morning poor thing. Wasn't feeling too brilliant myself.

Then, the Welder came by to pick up his laptop and give me the net of outside lights for the balcony and some cable ties too (clever little welder thinking ahead there).

I don't know when I shall put these up, I think putting Christmas stuff up before December is a bit chavvy, but the balcony one floor up across from me has the brightest display of anmated lights, they put Oxford Street in London to shame.  

OBC suggested I put up snowmen, reindeers and everything.  Well if I had any such things, I would, so if anyone wants to donate their unwanted bad taste items...

Today, I have to move things around to make room for my new houseguests.  I do think these could be the most pampered chilli plants on the planet (after Moll's of course).

 

Happy Birthday OBC and Beacon Tone

And not forgetting the late Bill the Wag who also shared this day with a birthday (used to cost me a fortune in birthday cards).

 

I cor wait

I had a twitter message from one of the lads on our local Flickr group who lives up at the old flour mills on the Wolverhampton road and can see my block.

He wanted to know if it was my balcony festooned with flashing lights.  I'd not seen them, but last night, just before the welder came, I went out there and sure enough, the top floor balcony across from me was flashing away so bright, you'd be able to see it from outer space.

Was telling Wally and Pat that whist I don't put washing out on the balcony because I think it looks chavvy, I would if I had the funds, put lights, inflatable rendeer, snowmen etc out there.

I always wanted to sneak round Darlo's at Christmas and do the same in her little front garden whilst she was in bed.  Closest thing I did to that was leave small garden gnomes on the windowsill anonymously.

Pat said they have a set of outside lights which are perfect for my balcony and having just spoken to her this morning, the welder's already been in the garage an sorted them out.

I am so excited, I want them NOW !  

When I do get them, I wonder how long I can wait before putting them out there ?  I like to put Christmas stuff up in the Christmas period, but chavvy lights...  

Have to see if Wireless Tone can get me some cable ties to hold them in place.

Had a lot of bottles to dispose of this morning.  Glad we have a recycling bin downstairs.  In fact since I came here, I now recycle about 80% of what I throw away.  Aren't I a green little git ?

And now I have two tablecloths (care of Pat), a white one and a sort of gold posh one.

Someone's going up in the world, it'll be quilted shit paper next !

If e's right...

Well obviously I am tired, I was up at 5:30 this morning, but also my sides ache from all the laughing.

He sits there like cock of the roost with his two "home girls" at his side.  

Distinct resemblance to Popeye here methinks.  Note he's well fed, so quite content for an hour or so.

That last samosa was too much of a temptation, so it had to be eaten !

He'll sleep well tonight with all that down him (Pat'll get a rest at least).

Told you he was a piglet

Welder told me he was fasting so he'd be really in good shape for tonight's curry.

Pat told me in a text he was lying, cos he'd just scoffed gammon, egg and chips in the pub.

So not only is he a piglet, he's a lying little piglet too !

One celebrity door closes, another one opens

Last night I reported how I had been unfriended or unfollowed or whatever it is people do on Twitter, by Matt Lucas, n'er a text or a phone call to tell me why.

This morning I discovered I am now being followed by the BBC Midlands Today presenter Suzanne Virdee who presents with wag Nick Owen and a very amusing team they make too.

Fortunately Ruth Buzzi hasn't dumped me yet.

Weather forecast was a bit off last night.  Said it would be mild and I had to consider whether I turn the heating off or leave it on (as it has to charge up overnight).  Seeing how the welder is coming, I opted for on and I'm glad I did.

It's an alleged 9 degrees, but even walking at a brisk pace as I do, it was chilly in short sleeves this morning. Glad I'm back in the warm.

Time to peel spuds to make curry and then I have to give donkey a brisk vacuuming prior to my special guest and welder coming round.  It is Pat's birthday we're celebrating, but of course piglet welder hogged the attention (notice the porcine play on words there).

 

 

Bob's been keeping a secret

There in Bob's counter this morning, bold as brass, a lovely display of saveloys.

"You've started doing saveloys then I exclaimed".  "We've always done em but they'm usually in the fridge" explained Bob.  

I love saveloys.  Not that I go in fish and chip shops very often, but if I do, I will often go for a saveloy over something deep fried.  Quite often chippy ones are pretty crap, no meat or spice in them.

Well, I just had one of these beauties for brekky and can give it ten out of ten.  Even though Coopers don't make these, they do have a high standard for the things they don't make there, so I am not surprised.

I am surprised that in all the years I've been going there, I never saw one on display.

Bob was in a bad mood thanks to a week dealing with the same sort of fuckwits I tend to get.  Council tax summons for a bill that was fully paid and on time.  A bost up with DVLA who have threatened to come tow away the car he wrote off on the motorway in April.  He's invted them to come round and try seeing as it is now scrap somewhere (probably now in China as recycled metal).

He's also had some idiot from the health inspector try to give him a hard time over handling meat.  It was vacuum sealed, so it didn't really matter the pack touched his apron, but she suggested it did and she swabbed him for forensic evidence.  He resisted clueing her in on the fact that butchers do handle meat.

As well as that bitch who called me out of the blue mid week, I had a problem with some snot faced graduate trainee in Tesco.  After fifty minutes of watching her thrash about hopelessly trying to solve a simple problem, I masked my anger at the fact she asked my name at least ten times during this period.

I finally broke and politely commented how I hate wasting time.  You're not the only one, I've got better things to do than this (thus making me feel like a really special and valued customer).

For many years, I've held the opinion that a degree is no guarantee of intelligence and my belief has been assured on many occasions to the point that I wouldn't trust most graduates to stick a stamp on an envelope correctly.  All I can say about her the other day is she must have still been in training for customer service and not doing too well at it.

Well, I can't sit here all day keeping you amused, I've got better things to do.  Curry to make, welders to feed...

 

 

No more dining out on that story

Remember how chuffed I was that Matt Lucas was following me on Twitter.  Well, it is no more I noticed tonight.

I wonder if it was a timeshare follow or something ?

So now all I have is Ruth Buzzi !

Boo Hoo...

Buggered !

Of course I mean that in the British sense of the word, as in tired to an extreme, not taken from behind.

I planned my morning with military precision. I walked down to the arboretum past the lake with a carrier bag which didn't contain bread which didn't stop a large convoy of ducks and geese following me gliding across the lake until they sussed it wasn't food.

I walked the length of the arboretum up to the sub post office at the Crescent, where I posted the bondage collar you saw me modelling the other day to an E Bay recipient, I hope he has some fun with it.

Then, I walked a good distance, past the old flat which is still much as I left it, up in to Caldmore (pronounced Karma) to the Hargun Sweet Centre, for samosas and bhajias to feed the welder on tomorrow.

Then down past Asda, via Tesco which by 9:45 was full of breeding chav scum and their spawn.  All I needed was a bottle of pop, couldn't get out quick enough (thick bitch ahead of me, put her stuff on the conveyer and took it off in SLOW motion).

And you wonder why I go out so early in the morning and do all my domestic shit ?

Then it was down to currying.  Decided I would do the chicken and tomato today and the potato one tomorrow. BIt like feeding the 5000, because I had to make up pots for OBC, Val, Bob the Butcher and Darlo who popped by yesterday hoping to get some, so if I leave her out now, my name is mud.

Got to keep a portion of dry potato with methi leaf for Wireless Tone (why am I not doing this for a living) ?

In addition to this, I printed another twenty Christmas Planner 3 folds for Bob the Butcher then OBC called inviting me to join him for a quick pint, an opportunity I snapped at like a turtle at a stick.

Gave me chance to give him his curry and prezzies, cos it's his birthday on Tuesday.

Deffo an early night tonight, as it's a 6 am start tomorrow, then as well as getting potato curry made, I have to tidy up to the standard where you can receive "guests" seeing as Irene is coming.  Wouldn't bother for piglet !

Of course this is Pat's birthday we are celebrating, nothing to do with Wally the Welder.