The Sturdy Soapbox

What a fuck up !

By mid morning this morning, I was seething with anger.  No phone line and no explanation from any party as to why.

I had a feeling those two guys were cutting and running yesterday and that a nightmare was about to ensue.

I sent 2 e mails to Sky asking for them to telephone me and bring me up to date on what was happening.  No response.  I can't call them from a mobile as these 0844 numbers will rack up a huge bill.

I asked my brother to call them from a landline and demand they make contact with me.  Whilst I was waiting for a response from that, there was a knock at my door.  Someone from the floor below has lost his phone and broadband but can make outgoing calls which apparently are on my phone number.  He's with Talk Talk and that's what they told him.

Now the fact he has my name, number etc means that there has been a breach of data protection and the fact he has been making calls on my number means that someone is going to get billed for those calls.

Meanwhile, I sit here with n'er a Dixie cup and a thread.

My bro called back and BT (who laid all the equipment down in the first place) now have to come tomorrow and try sort it out.

Can of worms or what ?

Put your flags away !

Well I didn't get to kiss the engineers boots, because I still have no phone or broadband !!!

Wiring problem somewhere between here and fucking Hackensak NJ for all I know, so they went away. Don't want to talk about it any more, in a sulk, especially as I have exceeded my 500 Mb allowance on my phone. Fortunately how Vodafone operate is to then allocate another 500 Mb block but allocating that on the 29th of the month means I won't get the benefit from it all and it still costs me a fiver.

Mood not good, teddy somewhere below me 6 floors down... Grrr

A sunny day and lunch out

Yesterday turned around nicely.  I was originally all set to go in with OBC to his factory and use the wi fi to upload the finished magazine to the printers, but the promised list of beers they never told me about, also never arrived, so I cancelled out going in with the O'de Un.

Mid morning, I was just pottering around when I received an unexpected phone call from Bern, my sister's husband.  It was his borthday and they were coming over to visit a gold shop nearby as he was looking for something in particular. They offered to take me out to lunch, which came as a nice surprise.

Unfortunately he didn't get what he wanted, but I got to see them and my neice Katherine.  She spooked me when she told me about her favourite little park in New York city, with the cast iron fountain.  I interrupted her saying "it's by the Flatiron isn't it" ?  Indeed, she was talking about Madison Park a very small park by the Flatiron which just happens to be a place I have called "my park" since around 2001 when I discovered it when using the cams you could control that were atop the Empire State Building.

With these cameras, you could pan and zoom all over the city, but I think it became a victim of its own success, as the service is no longer available.

Couldn't believe Kate also calls it "her park".

Anyhow, Dot liked my lovely clean kitchen floor and my Blackpool donkey coloured carpet...

Electric man came this morning and changed the meter, removing the chav pre pay one and putting a normal one where I just get a bill each quarter.  Still got to pay out each month, but at least I won't have a situation like I had on Saturday,  where the power just goes off.

Dot wasn't familiar with the word chav, remember until 2 years ago, she was living in a big posh house in Cambrideshire with a pool and tennis court.  Kate said chav stands for Council House and Violence to which Dot replied "well we grew up in a council house and we're not violent".

Imperial Leather soap came up and she also still buys it as she loves the smell.  When I mentioned that at home it was dad who used to buy it, she wondered if the fact we had it at home then and we obviously all liked the smell, makes a pyshological link to why she likes it so much today.

I reckon there's a lot in that, because one sip of Ribena and I am five years old again (I piss my pants and throw temper tantrums).  

Tomorrow the phone man comes but I am not sure whether I get broadband at the same time.  It says on the Sky website something about it can be up to 3 days after the line is activated.  I am sincerely hoping that is just a bit of arse covering small print.  If I do get it tomorrow, I shall kiss the phone engineer's boots, won't he be surprised !

I got the "mo down " weeks ago, like what's so difficult ?

If you see the flags out on here tomorrow, you know I've had a result !

Retro grooming

Back when I was a kid, my dad was very fond of Cussons Imperial Leather soap.  My mum wouldn't buy it as it was more expensive than other soap and quite often the only stuff in the house was Sunlight soap, huge blocks of foul smelling yellow stuff that was intended for getting the dirt out of collars and cuffs.

The one thing I remember about Imperial Leather, was the raised bump on one face of it, which had the posh metallic sticker indented into it which didn't come off when the soap got wet.

Now the purpose of the bump was so you could rest the wet soap on the soap dish or basin and it wouldn't glue itself as it dried.

Today's chavs (those who use soap at least) probably wouldn't be able to work that one out, which is why saddeningly I discovered last week when I bought my first bar of Imperial Leather in years, the bump is gone.  Sticker's still there though and I can verify it still smells great.

I've used liquid soaps for years now and decided whilst looking for something else in Tesco and saw this familiar old brand, that I would go traditional again and start using block soap and not Sunlight which I am sure like Oxydol and Omo soap powders, has gone the way of all flesh.

Incidentally, the malodorous Sunlight was manufactured quite close to where my parents came from on Merseyside and in the case of my dad who was from Rock Ferry, very close as it was made in Port Sunlight, hence the name.  My auntie Joyce retured to nearby Bromborough which had a Kelvinator factory just for those who might be interested.

As for Cussons, there is still a factory in Manchester, I paid a visit when I was "in training" with ADT auctions and was based up in the area.

At the same time as the Imperial Leather, I bought a bottle of Vosene shampoo, another brand from years ago which I thought had disappeared in time, giving way to all these stupid celebrity endorsed concoctions.

The smell of Vosene (herbal), take me back to Sunday nights of my youth, homework done, school uniform pressed and a good scrubbing ready for the new school week.  Hated school, but loved the smell of Vosene, still do.

One of the small luxuries my new flat affords me, is the ability to take a bath and not have to use spanners to get the taps to work (like I did at the old flat).  Just go in there, put the plug in and turn on the hot tap, top it off with a bit of cold, pop in some Radox (another iconic brand from eons ago) and you have instant luxury.

 

So cruel, but hilarious nevertheless

Bob the Butcher had me in tears of laughter this morning and I've been sniggering about it all the way home and so looking like a lunatic on the bus.

One of his customers lost his dog just before Christmas.  He's had it cremated and the urn is in the garden, so when he opens the curtains in the morning, there it is.  He's got photos of the dog on his computer and he told Bob that his dad died just after Christmas, but he's grieving for the dog more.

Bob replied "Well yo day aff ter throw sticks for th'ode mon did ya".

This is Black Country humour right down the line and I'm still cracked up.  Don't think the guy it was aimed at was too amused though.

Well played Liz

Regulars here know I have little truck with celebrities.  In complete contrast, I doff my cap to Liz Taylor who left instruction for her funeral to start later so she could be late for it.  What class and a clever way to make sure the press would report you'd left the planet.  

Liz Taylor, a true star.

Bumble bees and sunny days

It's been a cracking couple of days, but don't blink Brits or you'll miss it.

I've had all the windows open letting nice spring breezes waft through the flat (especially welcome today as I've stunk the place out cooking chicken tikka).  Went to close the one bedroom window last night and there was a noise in there almost as loud as a Lancaster bomber which I tracked down to be a Bumble bee almost as big as one.  Not too bright though, the window was wide open and he was buzzing on the small pane below it and couldn't find his way out.  Scooped him up in a dish and set him on his way, he was a beauty.  Glad the carnies that were on the same windowsill he was playing on didn't get him.

They've been doing cartwheels with all this lovely sunshine we've been having.  Only thing spoiling my day is really bad back ache and I can't find my strong painkillers.

It's the welder's birthday on the third of April and he's coming over next Friday with Pat and Irene and he's asked for curry, so I shall be making tikka again in the week and a lot of other stuff too as he takes a lot of feeding.

The CAMRA clowns are living up to their fuckwit reputation.  I've put the issue to bed and sent a low res copy off to be looked over, proof read etc and the question comes up "hasn't *** sent you the list of beers on sale at the festival"?  Well, you know the answer to that aleady.  

I'm going to leave them to their own devices over the weekend as I am pretty tired of being the only person putting effort into this publication.

If I was being paid to do this I would be ratty, but this is all voluntary !  Grrrr

First day of spring and here's a poem

Hooray, hooray it's spring

the boid is on the wing

but how absoid

the wing is on the boid

 

Aplologies to all in the Bronx - Me, I'm off to hospital to give them some blood and wee wee.

a month already !

Would you believe that tomorrow, it will be a month since I moved in to the Regent House apartments (as I now call them).  Remember when Niles (Frasier's brother) moved into a low rent dump called the Montana ?  It's a similar thing, if I drop it out in company I'm at the Regent House appts, most people won't associate it for it's other notoriety which is the fact that a famous murderer from the seventies lived down on the 4th floor in appt 20.

In fact one factor in his apprehension was the fact he taunted the police by saying I am closer then you think and I have my eye on you. Both these comments attributed to the fact the building is across the road from the town's main police station.

Here's a Wikipedia link to the murderer who Wally's brother Keith and wife Kath knew (seeing how she grew up in a low rise block across the road from my flat here). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannock_Chase_murders

 

 

Sweet dreams

One of the recurring themes when I dream, is my old home town of Clevedon.  Last night, I was driving a 52 seater coach and thinking I'll never get a space on the sea front with this.

Later, I found myself checking in to the Royal Pier Hotel, a building that's been closed for some years and is in a tumbledown condition.  I did used to dring there on summer evenings in the 80's when I lived there.

Also, I had (in the dream) my breakfast there which is good in a dream, because I assume there's no calories in it so you won't put any weight on.

Later, more practically, I found myself driving a Jaguar XJS, a model I've never actually driven, but my one waking complaint is that it was a hardtop and as it was my dream, you think I could have imagined up a convertible. 

As you can see from the picture I took last year, I won't be having brekky or a drink there in real life.