The Sturdy Soapbox

American Excess

I found this image over at Advertising is good for you.

It was connected with the fact that Heinz for some reason have put a big, round friendly tomato on the label of their ketchup instead of that thing that can be quite misleading, because it looks like a green Jalapeno, despit the fact that ketchup bottles have had the word tomato on since long before Elvis was on the radio.

What spooked me, was the 64 ounce neck collar label.  64 ounces of ketchup ?  Like what are they doing with the stuff ?

I have had a 330 ml bottle of Heinz since before Christmas, I used a dab on a burger tonight.  A dab you understand.  Less is more you Americans.

Any drinks or fries...

Earlier, I had to pop into the local pharmacy and get a prescription filled.  I handed it over to the girl and told her I would go back in to pick it up.  There's a good reason for this.  I hate waiting in the pharmacy for my pills, more than peeling potatoes or going to the dentist or smelling something that's gone off in the fridge...

It also gave me a good excuse to idle an hour taking to Jean and Carrie in the Wheatsheaf.

I was having a bit of my old neck trouble and so, decided to get some Ibuprofen whilst I was there.  Having handed over my prescription for the "serious" pills, I was puzzled when she asked if I was on any other medication.

It's a bit like being in McDonalds ordering a Big Mac, fries and a coke and then they enquire "any drinks or fries with that" ? (and believe me I've had that happen).

When I returned, all of an hour later, the girl didn't remember me.  "When did you drop your prescription off" she enquired.  She did a good jon of convincing me the lift didn't go all the way up to the top floor.  I thought it was just goldfish that had poor memory retention.

She asked me my name twice and not because she misheard my response the first time, it was more like the thirty seconds while she searched for my pills, my name went out of her head.  Someone with a badge and a managerial air about them, intervened and I got my pills.

I do wonder if she'lll still be there the next time I have to get a prescription filled.

 

An amusing commercial for a change

This is the new Cadburys chocolate commercial.

These days, I hate most TV adverts, but I've seen this one about six times and it cracks me up every time, those kids are so creepy.

Kung hei fat choi

Find out what sign animal you are in the Chinese zodiac with this handy little calculator.

I discovered Wally the Welder is a piglet !  Zodiac

Got spuds ?

Regular soapboxers will be aware that I take my potatoes very seriously.  For example, I would have been a very sad puppy on Christmas day, if I hadn't been able to have mashed potatoes made with King Edwards and I wouldn't give house space to the Nadine variety.

I had to  go down to Lidl (the peculiar German supermarket down the road) and I could only get a variety I never heard of, Melody.  I looked em up on the internets and discovered thay are similar to Yukon gold (which Americans will be familiar with).

I've got some cooking now for mash and roast and will see how they compare to my all time favourites.

It's Chinese New Year again, doesn't it  roll round fast.  It's two years for example, since I did that banquet for my brother and Anita, where I made them wear Chinese hats and stick on Fu Man Chu moustaches and I decorated the lounge with lanterns and a super Chinese dragon Channie sent me from New York.

I was nosing around for Chinese things and found this picture.  Immediately, I thought it's Channie and Dean, so I sent it over to them.  Not heard from them yet, because they'll still be fast asleep.

OK, so whilst it makes Channie out to be a stereotype, poor Dean's a panda and it gives rise to the rather vulgar joke "eats, shoots and leaves"...

I've still got my Chinese dragon up on the wall and I have one of those little red envelopes that come with money in (if someone gives it to you).  Mine's bloody empty (go figure).  No Chinese banquets on the horizon, but I do have some Asda fresh noodles in the fridge and some chicken to make stir fry with, so I may have my own private little celebration tomorrow.  Kung Hei Fat Choi !

PS. Verdict on the Melody mashed potatoes ZOWEE ! - hardly distinguishable from King Edwards, top marks and 99p for 2.5 kilos (5lbs)

On this day in history

They changed the whitehouse web site: Click here

 

Lost bean lament and a lamb casserole loser

I'm in one of those moods where I could just go back to bed and sulk.  Went down to Asda for some much needed bits n pieces.  As I was putting my stuff in the bags at the checkout, the bloke on the till, threw a load more carrier bags onto the counter so I could help myself.  they buried the one bag I'd part filled and it was only when I was almost home, I realised I had left it behind.  Fortunately, it was only a couple of tinned items and not my Warburtons toastie or my fresh noodles.

Then Charlie Chalk does his best to break it to me gently that he's not coming for a pint on Friday, because Darlo's going to give him a lift home AND she's lured him round with a lamb casserole.  Some people are easily bought I reckon.

So, for the rest of the day, I shall console myself with my Pepsi Max which was on special at two for one pound fifty, waving my "GO BAMA" sponge rubber finger at the TV as this momentous and historic day unfolds.  The day I left me beans in the Asda.

I might do a lamb casserole this weekend and keep it all for myself, so there !

Prepare for the circus

The inauguration speech generator, play it here: Generate you own

Probably the most irritating shite commercial on TV right now

Brrr brrrr burble burble

So what's the point of a timetable ?

I left home at 6:22 this morning, because the bus goes by here at anything from 6:25.  This morning, it was eight minutes early.  If I had decided to take a pee before leaving, I would have missed it.

The bus coming home from Darlaston was 15 minutes late and on a cold wet morning, makes waiting for it all the more a pissy experience.

Bob the Butcher has had a week of confilct.  He called one of those book clubs on behalf of his sister who lost her husband last year and yet they keep sending him books to read.  Bob spent some time on the phone talking to this woman about the pile of books they have in the deceased man's name and asking what more it takes to prove he really is dead, seeing how they already sent a copy of the death certificate.

The woman said "We'd never ask for a death certificate".  "But you did" insisted Bob and his temper was firing up more by the second.  finally, he gave up and handed the phone over to his sister, only to find out a few seconds later that he hadn't been talking to a lady from the book club after all, but a music club of which the deceased brother in law was never a member.

Cut to mid week at home, when a woman came calling, trying to talk him into taking a nightly delivery of the local paper.  He wasn't interested and so he said he gets it delivered at work.  "Just one more thing" she interjected...  "Look I told you I'm not interested" snapped Bob.  "No, I just wanted"... she responded  "Look, don't you people understand" he retorted...  "I just wanted"...  "I'm telling you now, I'm not interested".

She got the final word in  "I just wanted to tell you, you've left your keys in the door".  Bob shrinks to about an inch high.

He was also crestfallen because his nemesis "Pedro" who used to work in the butchers shop with him and made up the other half of a comedy act to rival Morecambe and Wise, had called in sick, after coming out of retirement to help out while people are on holiday.  "And I was warming his apron by the oven" Bob simpered.

Whilst I was killing time waiting for the bus which was late anyway, some bloke came in soused as you like (at 7:15 in the morning) after pigs heads.  "I ay got none til Tuesday" Bob informed him.  This man apparently in his more sober moments, boils them up brains and all but he's going to have to wait til Tuesday, because that must be pigs head day.

Lucky OBC, he's got a gift of a game pie.  After the success of the festive pies over the holiday, it has been decided to carry them through the year, so I've changed the page on the website from Festive Pies to Hand Made Pies.  They hadn't got any chicken and ham, but he had got game and OBC likes game pie, so he cops for a freebie off our Bob.

I got some black refuse bags as a gift, because I mentioned I'm still chopping up and disposing of the huge Christmas tree.  I should be finished by tomorrow, but I'll still have the central trunk to get shot of.  Any ideas ?