My sister gave me some birthday money. Did I go out and frot it up with a prossie ? No. Did I buy a new Dalek ? No.
I went down to Wilko and bought mealworms and blue tit mix. Then I went to Poundland and bought bog cleaner then I went to Tesco and bought ice cream (for me).
The sixth floor diner now has more choice of food than I have. I have eggs, bread and baked beans. Everything else has gone off with my not having the appetite this last couple of weeks.
They have: Mealworms, peanuts, blue tit mix, fat balls, wild bird mix, niger seeds and sunflower seeds.
Have to say I am pissed of with the pigeons. They eat all the seed that's on trays, scare the smaller birds and are generally obnoxious. In fact they remind me so much of someone I once worked with, the very thought of even now makes my top lip curl.
Like the pigeons, he took everything that was going, didn't give a fuck about anyone else and was of no use to man nor beast.
Like these pigeons, he was (still is) stupid (but possessed natural cunning). Chase one off the balcony and it will be back five minutes later. I reckon when he jumps the twig, he'll come back as a pigeon and shit all over people like he does now.
So whilst my guests gorge themselves silly, the highlight of my day is putting a bit of toilet duck down.
Hope they enjoy the meal worms.